Response to Confessions of a TARP Wife

Confessions of a TARP Wife


Confessions of a Former DEBT SLAVE
by Anonymous (Liz Peek?)Apr 21 2009
by Dar Denis Apr. 22 2009


Forget the opera. Cancel dinner at Bouley. How life has changed since my CEO husband went on the government dole.


Forget the retirement. Cancel my social security #. How life has changed since I decided to get off the government dole.


I am a TARP wife.


I am a former DEBT SLAVE.


"A slave is one who waits for someone else to free them" ~ Anonymous


"Knowledge makes a man (person) unfit to be a slave."-- Frederick Douglass


In keeping with the unwritten code of this new sisterhood, I have taken a vow of financial abstinence. I returned the presents my husband gave me for Christmas (but didn’t tell him, since he’s already awash in gloom) and am using my credit balances at all the major department stores for important gifts and other necessities.


In keeping with the unwritten code of the debt enslaved, my parents traded my existence, sometime after my birth, for the illusion of benefits and security & I, unknowingly took a "voluntary" vow of never ending financial poverty. I was expected to accept whatever educational and work opportunities were presented to me, purchase products and services I didn't really need and I could not afford on credit I could never fully pay off, so was my family and everyone else I knew. I didn't talk about it, since I was not even really aware that I was a DEBT SLAVE at the time and since it thinking about such a reality made me awash in gloom and my reality as a DEBT SLAVE was already gloomy enough. I used the credit balances on my major credit cards to buy necessities that were otherwise un-affordable. Important things like food, heating fuel and gas for my car so I could commute back and forth to my SLAVE wage labor exchange.


I haven’t even looked at spring clothes; God forbid someone catches me out in something new. Keeping up with fashion seems somehow decadent in this new era, like getting Botox injections or catered dinners. Like so many others, I’m shopping in my closet. I’ve bought exactly two things this year—makeup and panty hose. If I buy a present for someone, I have the package sent to their home. I don’t want to be spotted climbing into a taxi, laden with Bergdorf Goodman shopping bags.


I haven't looked at new clothes, spring or otherwise, for at least 3 years now. Keeping up with fashion always seemed decadent to me. Botox injections and catered dinners? HA! These things were never really something I was ever interested in anyway. I was always suspicious of Botox, what the hell kind of vanity leads someone there?! Catered dinners were, in my opinion, for those too lazy or horrid at cooking to provide their own food for events/get togethers. Oh yes, I worked in the food industry...I know what others might be inclined to do to someone's food, the service industry is a passive aggressive bunch with a taste for unseen vengeance. No thanks, I would rather know for sure that what I am eating is not laced with someone else's bodily fluids, or been prepared by unwashed hands. Of course I know now that my inclination not to feel envious of such things was a safety net of sorts. As a DEBT SLAVE, born into a life of unseen bondage, I was socially conditioned to believe that such realities were not realistic anyway. The closest I have ever come to having a dinner catered was the church Christmas dinner, held at a local restaurant that had a conference type room and catered the meal, and our local bowling league always held their end of the year banquet at a local restaurant that had a similar conference type room and catered the meal. Nothing fancy though. Of course now that I know that nearly all the food available to the public through public means, such as catered meals, restaurants and such are laced with toxic chemicals and ingredients or are GM crops, I am really quite relieved that I didn't have the kind of reality that expected me to partake in constant consumption of public food resources. For the first 15 years of my life, my farm family grew their own gardens, raised our own meat and drank our own unfluoridated well water. Probably why I have been able to finally comprehend the DEBT SLAVERY reality I was born into...and how the only way out of it, had to be deliberate and voluntary on my part.
Like so many of my fellow DEBT SLAVES, I shopped in others closets, second hand and discount dollar stores. This year, I have bought exactly nothing...except the minimum in food and utilities. I don't buy presents anymore, haven't for at least 5 years now. Not for my partner, not for family or friends. Not even greeting cards, other than the occasional card I create on my home computer, but even that is now a luxury I can not afford. Now the paper and ink must be saved to print for sale signs I post around the community.


As you can see, being a TARP wife means, in short, making decisions according to a complex algorithm: balancing the need to look like your world hasn’t crumbled beneath you—let’s not alarm the investors!—with the need to appear duly repentant for your subprime sins. It also means we’re part of the community of more than 400 companies that have received government bailout funds, whose fall from grace has been swifter and harsher than any since Mao frog-marched intellectuals into China’s countryside.


As you can see, being a DEBT SLAVE means, in short, making decisions according to a complex algorithm: balancing the need to eat, with the need for shelter and heat through the long winter months here in Vermont, all the while needing to appear duly repentant for my inherent DEBT SLAVE sins. The sin of merely existing. It also means I was part of a community of millions that are also DEBT SLAVES, though the vast majority of them are completely unaware of this reality. I suspect to a vast extent TARP wife, you are a DEBT SLAVE also, though a more comfortable & elite variety. I don't get bail-outs when my reality doesn't turn out the way I hoped it would, or planned it to. I once successfully applied for and received a sort of temporary bail out from the government, state government that is. I had finally, after 7 years of domestic physical abuse, left my abuser and made it back to my home state, but my toddler daughter and I had to leave with no money, no vehicle, we flew as it was 3000 miles to return home, and literally just a few suitcases of belongings. So I applied for what is often referred to as welfare. It was a humiliating experience, as it is meant to be in order to motivate individuals and families not to adopt it as a long term support option. It should be the same for all forms of welfare, especially corporate welfare, in my opinion, because now it is not just the banking industry that expects to be continually bailed out, now it is the auto industry, the newspaper industry and who knows who else will come forward begging and pleading now that the government has set a president.
I worked two farming jobs to get myself and my daughter off the state welfare support system. People gave me dirty looks at the grocery store when I got out my food stamps booklet. Yes, back then it was before the invent of welfare credit cards, instead we had little coupon books we tore the denominations out of to pay for the groceries I had the audacity to purchase to feed myself and my daughter. No junk foods either, none...ever! But we still got the whispers and dirty looks. So I took to shopping at the dented can stores and day old bread outlets, where the people were a little more accepting and friendly.
However, as a DEBT SLAVE, I could not petition/lobby the government to provide me with the means to cover my ass should I attempt to game the system. No, for the DEBT SLAVES such as myself...the punishments are swift and sever should we ever think for even a moment that there is a loop hole through which we could punch to better ourselves or our odds at success at the expense of others or the system at large. Instead, DEBT SLAVES are expected to accept the labor & tax burdens they are assigned. Without question, without criticism, without resistance. From cradle to grave the DEBT SLAVE is expected to sacrifice and foot the bill to afford the more deserving masters to experience a more comfortable existence. It is the DEBT SLAVE that is expected to fight the wars, eat the poison foods, drink the toxic waters & live in the slums and hazardous waste dumps.


Hitting the perfect note isn’t always easy. For instance, for the past 15 years or so, I have thrown my husband a birthday party. We traditionally celebrate with about 30 friends, mostly New York pals we’ve known for decades. We’re not talking an end-of-an-era Stephen Schwarzman-type $10 million blowout. Ours is a pretty sedate affair.


For the past 5 years neither my partner nor I have had a birthday party at all, prior to that, for the 15 years that preceeded it, my birthdays were mired in abusive marriages and dead end jobs. If I was able to celebrate at all, it was at home with a home made birthday cake and a few family & friends, presents, if there were any, were either hand made, or necessities. Think $10 blow outs at most....a pretty sedate affair indeed.
Or course like you TARP wife, my social conditioning at the time, demanding that I do something for my family members birthdays, and attend those of my friends when I was invited. As a former DEBT SLAVE, I can now see past that illusionary reality that was meant to keep me within the bondage of continual debt. Now it is enough to let my partner know on his birthday that I am grateful for the day he came into existence and hopeful to experience many more years together. This is the kind of celebration we repeat on our anniversary as well....the most sedate of all. It is far more enjoyable knowing we are not living beyond our means or enslaving others by purchasing foreign made, lead laced products that have no real use in our lives and could very well endanger us.


This year, of course, entertaining our crowd at our usual multi-star Michelin hotspots would simply not do. Extravagant is out; conservative is in. But not hosting a birthday dinner would have spurred rumors that we were broke, not a welcome thought either. Juggling these conflicting impulses, I decided on a slimmed-down party. Choosing Versailles to host World War I peace negotiations could not have been more complicated than my attempt to select the perfect spot for our annual dinner. Naturally, every restaurant I contacted was willing to meet my reduced budget; now that Wall Street firms are no longer entertaining clients or hosting events, New York eateries are struggling.


This year, of course, entertaining anyone, for any reason, is simply out of the question. Extravagance is out, it is never really in for the DEBT SLAVE anyway, and as a former DEBT SLAVE, now independent sovereign individual, conservation is something I have come to take very seriously. According to the common definition, we are always broke, however, we welcome the thought, it means hardly anyone asks or expects much of us, which works out well for us since we have, over the last 5 years become somewhat misanthropic. The less exposure we have to the common human the better we feel.


At the end of the day, it came down to a choice between an especially accommodating (and well-known) high-end restaurant and a less expensive, clubbier spot. We ultimately picked the cozier restaurant—even though it ended up costing us more, so eager was the more chic outfit to host the party. Why spend the extra bucks? Because our chosen place is distinctly low-profile and rarely mentioned in the press. We did not need a snarky story about a “Wall Street bigwig living it up while taxpayers wonder where their money went.” Really, not even President Obama spends this much time looking after his image.


At the end of the my former DEBT SLAVE day, it usually comes down to a choice between eating or heating, gas for the car or health insurance co-pays. Currently my days consist of posting our personal possessions for sale on websites like craigslist and Yahoo groups, so we can continue to afford the pasta, ingredients for bread and other meager food resources we have gotten used to eating as part of our budget conservation efforts, looking for freelance online gigs I can make a few fiat bucks at, searching craigslist for a reliable motor home we can afford for the measly $1000 we were able to scrape together in savings over the winter so that at least we will always have a home that can't be ripped out from under us through foreclosure, and can travel for whatever work there is that might be available for fiat cash or barter trades for food and such necessities. To be honest I have little concern for the continuing saga of bailing out the wealthy spoiled brats of America. It's all I can do now to tread water and keep myself from drowning. Suicide looks more inviting every damn day.


Conveniently, as a DEBT SLAVE I had little time or concern to turn towards the misdeeds of those who would mean to rule over my debt slavery reality. Even if some "snarky" story about the "Wall Street bigwigs living it up while some wonder where the bail out money went" does appear in the mainstream..which is highly unlikely since they are all on the same side and in bed with and in each others pockets anyway, the DEBT SLAVE/tax payer can't afford to pay attention to it. More pressing matters of jr's braces, a spouses unemployment & loss of unemployment benefits, which by the way, would be sort of like their bail out, but they are not entitled to it, even though as a DEBT SLAVE paid taxes into it, for just such an occasion as this. No, the DEBT SLAVE is never entitled to anything really except more debt, more abuse, more deception, etc...it goes on and on.
Keeping up appearances, you can thank Edward Bernais for that. Watch the BBC documentary "A Century of Self" and be educated. They get the whole financial collapse of the late 20's/early 30's all wrong, but other than that, it is a very informative look at what and who have ultimately made you what you are TARP wife.


It wasn’t long ago that America celebrated successful companies and the people who run them. My husband, CEO of one of the biggest TARP recipients, has received more than his share of accolades (in my opinion, well deserved). But because of a few tin-eared nitwits who failed to notice that their industry was under siege, the entire country now thinks that TARP bankers are greedy incompetents dedicated to ripping off taxpayers. Fancy wastebaskets, under-the-rug bonuses, lavish junkets—these are Exhibits A, B, and C in the people’s case against Wall Street. Even the Octomom gets better press.


It wasn't long ago that the DEBT SLAVE was celebrated. On the backs of the hard working and determined, sweating and sacrificing for the good of the nation...and the more well to do/wealthy....that is what built this country and provided the wealthy with prosperity. The DEBT SLAVE received the accolades, in my opinion, well deserved. But because a few corrupt, greedy, selfish, individuals failed to realize that their actions would have serious consequences...the entire country now sees the DEBT SLAVE as the sacrificial offering. The DEBT SLAVE was sold on the "trickle down" theory....that the good they brought to the wealthy would somehow trickle down to them too. That the wealthy would appreciate and be grateful for their sweat and sacrifice, their long hard hours of work and determination, would in the end be rewarded too. That the wealthy would share the bounty of the harvest. Instead, the wealthy continued to rip off the DEBT SLAVE with fancy waste baskets, under the rug bonuses, lavish junkets and more. The more benefits they received the more the kept for themselves and the more they expected to get. I am not as selfish and attention whoring as the Octomom, all I really ever expected, wanted a decent, simple, comfortable reality in return for my DEBT SLAVERY investments of time, energy and labor for the common good.


Here is the reality: TARP managers are scared to death. The executives of these companies are desperately trying to hold their businesses together while complying with a slew of damaging bills flooding out of Congress. My husband has battled the shutdown of the credit markets and a deteriorating business environment for two endless years without respite. He’s exhausted, terrified of losing the company, and beaten down by the constant criticism hurled at him.


Here is the reality: DEBT SLAVES are scared to death. DEBT SLAVES are desperately trying to hold their poverty ridden lives together, while complying with a slew of damaging bills flooding Congress. Bills that aim to increase their DEBT SLAVERY as well as the DEBT SLAVERY of their children, grandchildren and generations of unborn Americans to come. Most by the way will be born severely intellectually limited because their mothers were exposed to chemicals while pregnant and the child themselves will be pumped full of intelligence robbing chemicals upon their birth and for the whole of their existence. From the toxin laced formula and fluoride laced water they are fed instead of breast milk, to the chemical laden baby and adult foods they are fed at home and through the public schools they will be expected to attend, to the vaccines they are forced to accept and the polluted air they must breath. Bills that aim to decreased the DEBT SLAVES rights to protect themselves from the corruption, greed, selfishness and abuses of the wealthy. Bills that aim to keep them indebted from cradle to grave for endless generations to come. DEBT SLAVES continue to battle the shutdown of their Constitutional rights to protect themselves from the continued and ongoing corruption, greed, selfishness and abuses of the wealthy and the deteriorating employment environment for decades now without respite. DEBT SLAVES are exhausted, terrified of losing what little they have managed to survive on and beaten down by the constant criticism hurled at them.


I’m trying to buck him up and not complicate his life. The last thing he needs is unpleasant publicity, so I’m learning to fly so far below the radar that I have perpetually skinned knees. We’ve picked up new habits, like making donations anonymously and sneaking in late to black-tie galas after society photographer Patrick McMullan has packed up his camera and gone home. We now regularly turn down the invitations we receive from museums and arts organizations that will inevitably be followed by a request for funds. No point in getting their hopes up.
I get it that I may not win much sympathy. Why should I? I’m not pleading poverty. We still live in relative luxury, we can afford almost everything we need, and we aren’t facing the prospect of losing our home or having to turn to our families to support us. But we are getting squeezed.


As a former DEBT SLAVE I try to buck up and not complicate my life. I have made the choice to fly so far below the radar that they have perpetually skinned knees, hell I have worn my legs down to stubs. I am picking up old/new habits, like growing my own garden, canning and preserving my own food, baking my own bread, sewing my own clothes, hanging my laundry out to dry on the line, which by the way, means I must schedule my laundry according to the weather report and hope the weather report is right. I regularly turn down invitations to join sports leagues & contribute to charity organizations, charity begins at home now.
I get that I will not win any sympathy. Why should I? I can plead poverty all I want but it will fall on deaf ears anyway. I survive anyway I can, picking out of garbage cans and relying on the generosity of strangers for almost everything I need, but can not create/attain for myself. I have already faced the prospect of losing my shelter & vehicle & jobs. I have turned to my family for support, but all DEBT SLAVES & their families are in the same virtual boat anyway, whether blue or white collar.....eventually, we are all at risk and in danger of losing it all when the rulers and wealthy fail to act responsibly...for the common good, in favor of becoming tyrannical monsters of corruption, greed and selfishness. The DEBT SLAVES are being squeezed...not just squeezed, we are being wrung out and hung out. Worst of all, the American DEBT SLAVE is being abandoned by their American rulers and the wealthy, in favor of cheaper, less resistant, more compliant, less critical, more grateful, less educated, foreign DEBT SLAVES. After generations of sweat, tears and personal sacrifice, nothing trickled down at all....it all defied the proclaimed economic gravity. All the DEBT SLAVE is left with is fear, destitution, disappointment, division & depression. Having given of themselves to the point where they have nothing left to even defend themselves with.


Like most Americans, we are worried about money. Our net worth is tied up in stock that is down 95 percent. Last year, before it became fashionable to do so, my husband refused a bonus. Because of the new restrictions, his pay this year will be a fraction of what it was. The combined swoon in our income has caused us to cut spending drastically, in hopes that we can hang on to some remnant of our former lifestyle.


Like most American DEBT SLAVE I used to worry about money. My partners retirement used to be tied up in the scam called 401K stocks. Fortunately for us, we had the intelligence to remove ourselves from the DEBT SLAVE labor exchange about 4 years ago and cash in that scam 401K before this whole economic crash got underway. Talk about grateful! Oh yes we are! However, I now my fellow American DEBT SLAVES likely won't have anything to retire on...retirement, social security....these were just illusions the wealthy used to convince them to give up even more of their independence and hard earned DEBT SLAVE wages. Bonuses, if a DEBT SLAVE gets one at all, is barely enough to make up for the slave wages they are earning anyway, and it's taxable, so it's not really a bonus at all. Because of the recession, and the American corporations appetite increased profit margins and cheap foreign labor, their pay will be a fraction of what it was or might have been, if they can even count on a paycheck at all, most can expect to get a pink slip instead. The generations of continuous corporate and government corruption, greed selfishness & constitutional/judicial abuses have caused the DEBT SLAVE to cut their spending dramatically, in hopes of just managing to survive at all.


In an effort to conserve cash, we are eating out less frequently, meaning that I’ve been turning out some pretty dreadful lasagna. Actually, staying home and watching Law & Order reruns has become our new guilty pleasure. It’s a far cry from opening night at the Metropolitan Opera, but it’s not bad. I drive the family crazy by switching off the lights every time we leave a room. Needless to say, we fly commercial. Using the company plane is now out of bounds; we’ve heard there are reporters staking out the private airports.


In my efforts to conserve our meager cash resources, either from the occasional personal contractor jobs, or from selling mine ad my partners personal possessions, we eat out less frequently and have returned to our kitchen to cook our own meals, more often from scratch than not, which it turns out, is actually better for us in the long run, as our food contains less of the toxic chemicals that are making so many DEBT SLAVES in all tax brackets sick and stupid. Sickness and stupidity is, after all the root cause of this entire disaster anyway. The sick and stupid, can not muster the will to resist and fight the rulers and wealthy's abusive behaviors. I found that giving up the pleasures of paid tv programming....has actually made me a better person too. Now my partner and I play cribbage and talk to each other a lot more, about all sorts of things. We both have more time to educate and inform ourselves of the realities that created and continue to maintain the DEBT SLAVE illusions of reality. I always turn off the lights when I leave a room, hell I hardly turn the lights on at all when I am in a room unless it is absolutely necessary and then only for as long as it is necessary, I unplug our energy vampires plugged into surge protectors before we go to bed or leave for the day, don't drive when I can walk and don't fly at all. Now that I have more time on my hands and are starting to really suffer the consequences of my decades of blissful ignorance, I am starting to take notice of the rulers and wealthy such as yourself TARP wife, that I had grown blind to for so long and I do not like what I see and I am now beginning to call the rulers and wealthy out for their failures, greed, selfishness, depravity and abuses. I now see where the real power lies....in the hands of the VOLUNTARY & in more so in my case, the former DEBT SLAVE.


I have become oddly superstitious. On some level, I feel I’m being punished for too many thoughtless years of assuming that the trappings of success were earned and not given. I’m constantly knocking on wood or offering little good-citizen sacrifices, like manically recycling or chatting with telemarketers.


As a former DEBT SLAVE I am no longer oddly superstitious. On every level I am beginning to see and understand that I was and am still being punished for too many thoughtless years of assuming the trappings of success could never be earned, but must be given, as a privilege or right by the ruling wealthy elite. I no longer knock on wood or offer myself as a sacrifice. I refuse to recycle the old bullshit into new compost..spread on the same weeded garden government. I am no longer content to be the wealthy ruling elites DEBT SLAVE, I refuse to be grateful to work as a telemarketer, prostituting my body, mind, heart and soul for the illusionary privilege of just existing.


I’m struggling with how to communicate all this to our children. We’re thankful that they’re intent on making their own way in the world, but at the same time, they confidently rely on us for help. One daughter recently mused about going back to business school. I hope she didn’t notice my instantly negative reaction, stemming completely from concern about the cost. I cannot bring myself to shake her foundation. The collapse of the world economy has already crushed the confidence of young people just starting out. Meanwhile, retirement is like a rainbow, a beautiful mirage that we’ll probably never reach. To some people, these may seem like luxury problems, but to us they are painful.


As a former DEBT SLAVE, I struggle with how to communicate all this to others, my own children included, though the DEBT SLAVE example of justice divided me from my children some years ago. As a DEBT SLAVE I was intent on make my own way in the world, but at the same time I relied on the wealthy ruling elite to help. As a DEBT SLAVE I was never presented with a realistic opportunity to advance my education beyond public high school. For many reasons I won't go into here,not the least of which was cost. Decades of DEBT SLAVERY in my own existence combined with the ongoing collapse of the world economy has now served to enlighten me about the realities behind the illusions. Meanwhile I now have come to understand that retirement, along with the concept of social security, was and always will be, like a rainbow, a beautiful mirage, an optical illusion with no real substance behind it. There is no pot of gold at the end of it, there never was for the DEBT SLAVE anyway, if the pot of gold were for anyone, it was always intended to be for the ruling wealthy elite, a luxury problem that is now a painful reality check of consequences they perhaps never believed they would be required to encounter/confront for themselves.


I’ve watched the skin under my husband’s eyes take on a yellowish hue, and his hair turn from gray to grayer, as he tries to lead his company through this mess. He’s up every night for hours at a stretch, and for the first time, he has health issues. For a person whose life has been punctuated mainly by success—from perennial class president and high-school sports star to Ivy League MBA—failure is the worst of all nightmares. He seems off balance, as though self-confidence were a physical ballast that he is slowly losing. It’s heartbreaking how often he apologizes to me for losing so much of our money, for making so many mistakes.


I've watched the skin under my eyes lose some of their sunken dark walking dead look, my hair is beginning to grey a bit, but I don't mind...at my age is is expected, even embraced by me as an outward sign of the maturity I am gaining in my 40's. My partner is in better health than he has been in many years. A life of continuous DEBT SLAVERY caused him to have a nearly deadly heart attack several years back. The the mainstream medical industry attempted to finish the job with an ongoing cocktail of toxic pharmaceuticals. Four years ago we eliminated all the synthetic drugs from his health care routine and replaced them with responsible eating and exercise, and low and behold, he is healthier than he ever was under the care of the mainstream medical establishment. Go figure, eh?! We educated ourselves on the realities of the pharmaceutical industry, their links to the mainstream medical establishment, and then learned about how the right diet and exercise can virtually eliminate the need & dependence for either. I know TARP wife that is probably not what you want to hear, your stock profits most likely depend on the common DEBT SLAVE being needy and dependent on entities like big pharma, big medical, big chemical & big oil.


I spent years trying to satisfy my DEBT SLAVE ruling wealthy elite leaders, continuously negotiating and renegotiating my way through their never ending mainstream messes without success. I sleep well most nights now for hours at a stretch for the first time in my life and for the first time, I have no heath issues, indeed I have not seen a doctor in at least 5 years. For a person whole life has been punctuated mainly by failure, from perennial school failure and my own parents failed marriages, through my own failed marriages and career failures, personal success as a former DEBT SLAVE is the best of all dreams come true. I am finally feeling balanced, and my self confidence is a physical ballast that provides me with stability I have never known before as a perpetual DEBT SLAVE. It's heartbreaking how many individuals, including yourself TARP wife, remain DEBT SLAVES, but I have come to terms with the reality that I can not save everyone, I have accepted that I can not be my nations nor the planets messiah. No one can save someone who is unwilling to save themselves. I make no apologies for leaving you behind in your slavery, your mistakes are your own, just as mine were my own. I had to learn to accept the ultimate level of individual personal responsibility, that is what provided me with the power to free myself from the reality of DEBT SLAVERY. It is the same thing that could free you too, but you have to want that freedom and be ready to accept the responsibilities and rights that accompany it. I get the impression that reality will never be one you are interested in TARP wife.


I know people are angry—angry at those they view as responsible for the subprime crisis and the subsequent economic meltdown. I don’t blame them. I’m angry too. But my fury extends to any number of culprits: to Alan Greenspan, who encouraged the loose-money policies that undermined the pricing of risk; to Barney Frank, who cudgeled Fannie Mae into supporting loans to unfit homebuyers; to the rating agencies that were ethically compromised; to the subprime-mortgage brokers who chased fees and ignored any accountability; to the investors who didn’t do their homework and absurdly leveraged up their balance sheets. I’m an equal-opportunity blamer.


I am no longer angry. I was angry for a while, and occasionally I find I feel a bit angry over the newest reality checks in the news, but the anger fades quickly as I soon remember that I am no longer a DEBT SLAVE. I am a free sovereign individual. Even as a DEBT SLAVE I was always responsible and mostly lived within my means. It was only at the end that I made a deliberate choice to charge credit I knew I would never repay. A sort of departing consequence to those wealthy ruling elite and their corporations for all the deception and manipulation they enacted towards me during my years as a DEBT SLAVE. They will never get a penny out o f me period. I don't blame you TARP wife for being angry...or for most people being angry about this entire financial collapse. However, the truth in reality is that it just never could have lasted....and your ignorance in referring to "unfit home buyers" just confirms your far removed, wealthy elitist attitude of ignorance of the real truth and root causes of this economic crisis. You see, for the DEBT SLAVE, there is really not that much to look forward to in life, the measure of a DEBT SLAVES success is largely measured by eventually being able to own a home of their own. This is, for all intents and purpose in the DEBT SLAVE existence, the American Dream, sadly for many, it has now turned into the American nightmare. After years of dumbing the average DEBT SLAVE down through public education and then socially conditioning them to accept the words of their bankers and government as like that of the godly commandments, the lenders deliberately deceived many of these individual home buyers into believing that they could afford the American Dream of owning their own homes. Most of them would have been content with a modest little home to raise their family and enjoy their DEBT SLAVE existence in, but the greedy, selfish, deception of the lenders invited them to consider more than they could afford. Lenders deliberately manipulated figures and outright lied on mortgage applications, and then did further damage by playing down the real risks the home owners faced. To add insult to injury, the government that is in charge not only of providing oversight to these lenders, but also is charged with protecting the citizen from such predatory lending, did what they could to make it even easier for these lenders to succeed in deceiving these individual home owners and then, as if that were not bad enough, they threw them under the proverbial bus, by encouraging corporations to take the American workers jobs overseas where labor was cheap. The reality is, that many of these individual home owners could have found a way to keep their mortgages paid if they still had their jobs. Perhaps it escapes your thought process to consider the direct link here....but when someone has a job, and gets a loan for a mortgage on a home, and then loses that job, through no fault of their own, but through the willful betrayal of their government and the companies they work for....it is not likely that they will be able to keep paying the mortgage on a temporary unemployment check. I am not sure exactly what you think these individual home owners were supposed to be able to do. They were deceived into believing they could afford home ownership on their wages,through deliberate manipulation of the figures and many of the loans had balloon payments that lenders assured the individual home owners that they could most certainly avoid by refinancing once their credit rating improved by taking out the home loan in the first place. Then the corporations, with the governments assistance pulled their jobs right out from under them, leaving them with no way to continue meeting their loan obligations. Incase you haven't noticed TARP wife....unemployment is at all time highs and it is not because Americans are too lazy and don't want to work...it's because corporations have taken the jobs over seas and abandoned the American worker that helped these corporations prosper in the first place.....this all directly related to the free trade agreements the American government made with foreign countries...to buy them off for a variety of reasons. It's conspiracy of the most vile kind....not a theory, but fact...now that you have some time on your hands, perhaps you might want to google things like "free trade agreements", NAFTA and such things. I have tons of bookmarks on these subjects and more I would be more than willing to share with you TARP wife. I have spent the last 5 years researching these realities behind the illusion of American democracy. Research that has ultimately lead me to finally end my individual personal voluntary DEBT SLAVERY once and for all.
Yes there is plenty of blame to go around, equal opportunity, though you seem to miss accepting any of the blame yourself. However, like I was before I released myself from the vicious cycles of perpetual DEBT SLAVERY, you are just as much to blame for this American failure, perhaps even a little more so, if only because you & your wealthy elitist kind seem somehow convinced that you deserve a better existence than some. That instead of sharing the wealth & prosperity you accumulate on the backs, sweat, tears & sacrifice of the DEBT SLAVE with the DEBT SLAVES that make that your prosperity possible, you give it to your friends charities and museums and the like. This is your idea of "trickle down economics". That eventually the wealth and prosperity will make it down to the bottom of the barrel you reserve for the lowliest of the DEBT SLAVES. Your attitude is "they should be grateful for what they get", "other third world country citizens have much less" and so on. You fail to acknowledge the failure in your own logic. When you treat people badly....eventually bad things happen to you too. This is the way of the natural world.
Would it be accurate them to say that you are equal opportunity when it comes to placing blame, but not when it comes to realizing the American dream. It would seem so from my pov.


And yes, I blame those who were in charge of the big banks—including my husband—for not seeing the default tsunami coming. But almost no one did. Everyone knows this, yet financial CEOs have replaced the Mob as the most despised group in the country.


You are suffering from serious denial if you believe for one minute that no one say this default tsunami coming. But then that is the hallmark of the wealthy ruling elite....DENIAL. Denial of their responsibility, denial of their failures, denial of their direct links to it all. Blissful ignorance of the long term realities that are inevitable, the consequences of greed, selfishness and abuse are harsh TARP wife. However, your suffering from a damaged image is nothing compared to the suffering the remaining DEBT SLAVES are experiencing as a direct result of this economic fiasco.
As a former DEBT SLAVE, I now must accept individual personal responsibility for my own existence, something you have never known and likely never will. You see, for me, this entire mess has been a blessing to me. You see, nearly 6 years ago, I woke up from my sheeple slumber and realized I was indeed a perpetual DEBT SLAVE. To the wealthy ruling elite such as yourself, I am barely human, just a commodity, and in some cases, collateral damage. What I realized at that time, was that the social, political, economic & religious structures and systems in place to control and maintain my individual personal DEBT SLAVERY were fundamentally at odds with my personal principles, values and beliefs. As I researched the reality that represented my own individual personal DEBT SLAVERY existence, I found it more and more impossible to reconcile the two. And as the old saying goes....something had to give...and it did. This year for my new years resolution I returned my social security cards to their proclaimed rightful owner, the federal social security agency/administration...what ever they call themselves now. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it was a personally liberating moment for me. You see, my individual, personal motto is taken from this quote:


"When one comes to think of it, there are no such things as divine, immutable, or inalienable rights. Rights are things we get when we are strong enough to make good our claim on them." Helen Keller

The good news is that Americans have short attention spans. Before long, some other group will come along to absorb all the frustration and anger.


Your right there TARP wife, but to me this is bad news. Americans, through the deliberate dumbing down process that has been under way now for decades and generations, have exceptionally short attention spans and as long as most of them have their beer, fast food and reality shows, they will not hardly even blink at you and your suffering, much less remember, hell most of them can not even comprehend or understand the economic collapse anyway....come to think of it, after reading and responding to your little Waaaambulance rant here...I am convinced you don't even really comprehend or understand it either. Oh I know my writing style is not as eloquent as yours....but I do have a keen and fine tuned comprehension and understanding of the reality behind the illusion this economic collapse represents. This is, after all not the first time America has been manipulated into a financial/banking crisis/economic collapse. Again the short historic attention span of the humans, and especially the American, work to the advantage of the wealthy ruling elite here. In the words of the Architect from the movie The Matrix.....it has been done several times...and they are getting exceeding efficient at it.


In the end, the anger and frustrations of the average American are rooted in their inability/unwillingness to accept the ultimate level of individual personal responsibility for their own existence. America has become the land of greed and home of the depraved, a super size me, pharmaceutical drug addicted nation of tv zombies who can not think or do for themselves without the wealthy ruling elite directing every moment of their existence. This is the sad reality of the 21st century human species on planet Earth. I am pretty much convinced that the human species needs a near extinction event to cleanse it of the deprivation and perversions that have become part of it's "normal" representation.


Meanwhile, I’m off to the tailors to get some clothes altered. Shopping your closet is great unless you’ve put on a few pounds over the years. I’ve been holding out hope that fewer nights out could shrink me to fit back into some of the past warhorses of my wardrobe. Unfortunately, our appetite for comfort food has risen in proportion to the Dow’s decline; the selloff this past month has upped our mac-and-cheese intake and created a sinecure for my seamstress.


Meanwhile, I am using my sewing machine, to alter the clothes in my closet. A gift from a house guest we had over a year ago, when she found out that I had to sell my old machine a few years back when my partner and I faced homelessness after a business agreement went bad, through no fault of our own. We simply made the mistake of thinking that a persons word is their bond and that most people are like us and will honor their verbal agreements. However, in reality, this in not at all the case and we have learned our lesson. As former DEBT SLAVES we have a steady diet of pasta, home made bread and dry beans. There is very little room in the budget for fresh produce, treats like ice cream or meat and sadly, fresh produce, meat and ice cream are all laced with toxic chemicals anyway...so if we don't grow it ourselves, we don't eat it. The biggest challenge now....is how to grow our own grains, especially because we never become one of the "unfit home buyers" you mentioned earlier. We have always rented, because we understood all too well that even with a mortgage paid off in full, a home owner never really owns their home if the state or town can take it for "eminent domain" or unpaid property taxes...so really, even if you don't have to pay a mortgage you are still just renting the privilege of owning the home you paid the mortgage on because your required to pay property taxes but receive very little in return for those monies paid either. More sick and stupid humans turned out from warehouse public education institutions, corrupt town governance....it never ends, it goes on and on...no matter what one tries to do, even a former DEBT SLAVE like me can not fully escape the reality of planet Earth. The insane asylum for the universe, a paradise for fools, planet of the retards, the reprobates, the deranged, the greedy, the selfish, the corrupt, the twisted, the warped. Agent Smith said it best, the human species is a virus on this planet.
I don't hate you TARP wife. On the contrary, I am just betting you are actually a pretty nice person in your own right. Just spoiled and short sighted/narrow minded. A product of your social conditioning, just like the majority of humans are. You are getting exactly what you deserve, reaping what you have sown in this reality. Just as all of us do. It is the nature of human nature on this natural planet we call Earth. No one can escape the consequences of nature, no one.
I will leave you with these final quotes, something to think about as you ponder and pine for the good ole days.


Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this:
You are the only one responsible for your own actions. -- Holly Lisle


The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -- and you are the easiest person to fool. -- Richard Feynman\


The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to one's self. -- Nietzsche


The way life treats you is a merciless mirror image of your attitude toward life.
-- Anonymous.


More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
-- Anonymous


When you are looking in the mirror, you are looking at the problem. But, remember, you are also looking at the solution. -- Anonymous


Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself. -- John MacNaughton


You should know something else TARP wife. In the beginning of my first marriage, I got a glimpse, a taste of your world. My first husband, though a lowly DEBT SLAVE himself, had connections to more wealthy elite DEBT SLAVES, and for a while, I got to experience the bigwig lifestyle, the fancy homes, the five star restaurants, the catered affairs and hosted dinner parties, charity events and such. I am not completely unfamiliar with your reality my dear. However, personally, I don't envy it. Keeping up a reality for the sake of appearance and image was never my strong suit, likely because I was raised in a very honest environment of simple dairy farmers for the first 15 years of my life...and I just never could shake the urges to speak my mind and reflect reality as it truly was. I have never been strongly suited to a life of denial and ignorance, the fact that my own life of ignorance lasted as long as it did is merely due to the reality that I was constantly distracted by the abusive and destructive environments I constantly found myself in through two abusive failed marriages and such. In the end, I came to accept responsibility for the decisions I made that put me in those environments, and forgive the rest that I had no control over. I am a better person for it now. I have made peace with my demons and even if my species never makes peace with it's demons, I will continue to make my way, as a former DEBT SLAVE, assisting others in freeing themselves from perpetual DEBT SLAVERY, and leaving the wealthy ruling elite behind them as well.
While some may see me in a negative light for walking away from over $20,000 in credit card debt...I know, you spend that in a month on something or other...I did not have the benefit of a lobby to get me a bail out hand out. For those who say the tax payer will get saddled with that debt anyway, I say...only if they want it. Every human being on this planet has the same options as I had, to walk away from the insanity that has become the human "civilization". Civilized humans do not wage wars, pollute and poison their planet, environment and inhabitants, and do not seek to live a reality of ever increasing greed and deprivation.

There is far more I could add to this essay response. I could go on and on about my personal reality...the wrongs done me and my partner, the failures of our families, the government and corporate America. I am posting this to my personal blog first and then forwarding it to others, though I doubt they will actually publish it. The difference is that I have the courage to sign my name to my rant.
In looking over the most recent headlines while eating dinner tonight, home made bread topped with a mixture of tomato sauce, canned beans, onions and spices my partner puts together sprinkled with shredded cheese, I saw that another financial head has apparently committed suicide. I empathize with him, if he actually did kill himself, I hope the family left behind has a thorough investigation done though...cause historically speaking, there are quite a few suicides that weren't really suicides at all. I see it wasn't your husband. Not that I wish it were. Though you likely knew the guy.
I have looked over the many internet sites that have carried your original rant, and the comments are largely mean spirited and cruel. I guess it is to be expected, but I want you to know that my response here is not meant to be mean spirited or cruel. I understand in your circles what your experiencing is seriously painful suffering, it's just so far removed from real life every day suffering of the literally thousands of Americans who have lost everything they every had, have had their American dream completely destroyed, through very little, if any fault of their own, if their fault was just in wanting their own little piece of the American dream. They likely never expected to live the reality you have, they just wanted a little piece of it is all. Most of them were not unfit, they were just uneducated, unprepared and uninformed. Not really their fault when people like your husband and other lenders were not really being all that up front, honest and transparent with them to begin with. You might want to consider instituting the golden rule in your future. I have never really understood how people could screw other people over and not expect that screwing to eventually come back to them. I mean that is really just common sense to me, but again, I think it is the hallmark of the wealthy elite mind set of DENIAL and it seems contagious to a large extend as even the common DEBT SLAVE seems to prefer to exact what ever they can out of whom ever they can in the short term, long term consequences be damned.
Anyway, one last thing...when talk of bail outs first started, there was a handful of people who thought it would be a better idea to give the American people the bail out money instead. Now obviously any fool with an IQ in the double digits would know the banks wouldn't go for it, but here is the thing. I am against bail outs period. It's fiat money with nothing behind it. However, if the government had just given the individual homeowners whatever their mortgages were actually for...with the stipulation that they had to use the bail out money to pay off their mortgages with it, hell they wouldn't even have had to actually have the mortgage money cross the home owners palm, they could have just credited their mortgage for it....the money would have gone to the banks that were holding the mortgage notes anyway...so your husband and other lenders would have gotten their money just the same, with the long term benefit of allowing the home buyers to keep their homes, sort of a bonus for them, because they were the victims of predatory & deceptive lending practices, failed deregulatory legislation and irresponsible & largely self serving corporate and government actions. So the home owners would not have gone into default, there by making them in your words "unfit", they might still be out of their jobs, but at least they would have a home and could withstand the real estate bubble that burst and not be homeless on top of being jobless. I know that doesn't suit the feds agenda to render the common DEBT SLAVE completely disoriented and dependent, but it would have prevented a lot of the additional problems our nation now faces as a result of the government only bailing out the banks. Plus...you would not be in the position of having to keep up appearances and image on the sly. Just a thought.
Anyway, I truly do wish you & your family the best. I would like to think our nation and people will learn something valuable to pass on to the next generations though I am not holding my breath. You might think about that too as your considering what to communicate to your own children.